Upstairs, Downstairs Page 16
“I understand… but everything can be explained… clarified…”
“Do you know that he wanted to live with me? He asked me to go to London with him… do you see what I’m saying?!”
“And what was your answer?”
“He’s the first man who has proposed something like that to me in my whole life… and me? I got scared like a kid!”
“Anita, if he’s a mature, balanced man, as you describe him, he will understand. If he really loves you, he won’t give up…” Giovanna’s words do not correspond with the state of panic in her mind. She keeps repeating to herself, “London?! London in England?? Oh Jesus, so far away…”
“Mum, do you know those moments when you feel that you’re at a turning point? When you really could change everything or nothing?” Anita searches for her mother’s eyes.
Giovanna isn’t sure how to answer but she feels a deep tenderness for her young daughter. “I don’t know… everything has been so natural with Matteo. Natural, normal… but incredibly beautiful at the same time.” They embrace each other and suddenly it’s as if their roles of mother and daughter have been reversed.
“Mizuki’s job is more important than mine. If anyone has to give up a job, that would be me. I could easily find another job in London anyway.”
“What would you do?”
“I speak foreign languages pretty well… I could be a guide for Italian tourists. I don’t know… I’m sure I could sort something out for myself.”
Giovanna is mulling over London, “Yes, it’s really that London, in England.” She can’t stop visualising English speaking Japanese grandchildren with ginger hair.
Anita stands up abruptly after downing the rest of her coffee in one gulp. “I’m going to get him back. I must try. I want to tell him how much I love him!”
“Don’t rush, Anita! Don’t do everything so impulsively. Remember what they say, sleep on it!”
“Do you realise I’ve never told him that? Mum, the time for bullshit is over!” And she hurriedly begins to dress.
*
“Shoes, trousers, bag, keys…” she repeats like a surgeon in the operating room.
“Wait! You’re not going on that scooter are you?!” Giovanna yells after her.
“Damn! Where did I put my keys?”
“Call him. Tell him to come here… your foot still hurts…”
“Mum, I lost my phone in the accident. I couldn’t call him if I wanted to!”
“You can use mine…”
“I don’t know his number… Bye, Mum. I love you.” Anita comes back to kiss her and leaves hastily.
Giovanna looks at her daughter. She’s beautiful; her eyes are so full of light. She would like to be with her at each stage of her life, but she understands that she can’t. She’s a grown woman now. As soon as Anita closes the door she calls Matteo, and, with her voice barely more than a whisper, she says, “My daughter is going to London. We’ll never see her again.”
*
“Toyota Motors, office of Mr Fujiwara, may I help you?”
“Good morning. Mizuki Murakami speaking. I would like to talk to Mr Fujiwara, however his phone is turned off.”
“Just a moment. I’ll try to connect you.”
“Please, tell him it’s about the London project. Thank you.”
He’s on hold, with Imagine as background music.
Kyoko is sitting on the sofa reading a book. She understands that this is a business phone call from the few words Mizuki has spoken. She returns to focus on her reading.
After a few minutes, Mizuki is back. “I have a video conference call with London shortly.”
“Have you really made up your mind?”
“Yes. I’m just sorry that you’ll have to do the last of your shopping in Rome without me…”
“Well, don’t worry about that! I’ll manage perfectly well…” Kyoko smiles. “Just think about yourself and your friend. She’s probably out of hospital now.”
“Right… the ground becomes solid after a heavy rain.” Mizuki quotes an old Japanese saying. “I hope it’s true.”
*
Anita and Isotta try to take courage from each other. Both are a bit banged up. To overcome the trauma of the accident there’s nothing better than to think of something much more important: Mizuki. Anita is scared to death of having lost him. She’s afraid it’s too late. Maybe he’s already left Rome…
She parks the scooter near the entrance. She seems to move in slow motion. She doesn’t want to do more damage to herself or to other people. She goes over to the intercom and takes a deep breath. She rings the bell.
“Yes?” It’s Kyoko.
Anita finds her voice somewhere – she doesn’t know where – but she’s able to say, “It’s Anita. I’d like to talk to Mizuki. Is he home?”
“Yes, come on up.” Kyoko’s voice is kind.
When she opens the door, Anita’s heart is in her throat. She’s trying to find in her mind all the words she had prepared and wanted to say. But she couldn’t have imagined the impression that her feared rival is having on her. Those dark deep eyes, the high cheekbones… her familiarity makes her stutter. Kyoko keeps smiling as she invites her to come in, and she can barely mumble, “I’m Anita” – as if Kyoko could have forgotten.
The two women are now face to face. They observe each other. Kyoko knows how to read a person beyond the silence. The strong morning light reflects on Anita’s amber curls, accentuating the pallor of her skin. It’s almost like a transparency that reveals her feelings.
“I’m so happy to meet you, Anita. Mizuki is in his studio working. He talked to me about you, and by the way he did, I could tell you are very important to him.” She pauses for what seems to Anita to be a very long time. “Now I know why. I’m glad to see him in love again, although he kept you as a secret from me and the family. But after what happened with Evelyn, I can understand him. I imagine you know.” There is neither uncertainty nor hesitation in Kyoko’s voice. She knows her cousin too well to doubt that he has talked to Anita about it.
Anita would like to say something, but she just nods. She’s impressed by Kyoko’s words and her resemblance to Mizuki.
“Did you know that we grew up together? Mizuki is like a brother to me. At the hospital I met your mother and your father. They are very nice. I’ll be leaving Rome tomorrow, but I’m sure we’ll have many occasions in the future to get to know each other better.” Then she says goodbye and leaves the apartment.
Anita remains alone with her thoughts. “My father?” She wonders, but it’s not important… she’s focused on the moment. Mizuki is working. Should she wait? Maybe she should just open the door for a second to let him know she’s here. At times the mind is slower than the body and Anita already has her hand on the door handle. She enters and starts to talk. “I’m sorry. You can’t imagine how sorry I am…”
Mizuki sits with his back to her. He wears headphones and in front of him is a computer screen where she can see that a person is talking. Then the person stops, and is now looking straight at her. Paralysed, she also stops talking.
Mizuki turns. “Anita! Anita-san…”
She has never seen him so surprised. “Hi… I’m sorry… I wanted to talk to you, but I didn’t want to disturb…”
Mizuki quickly explained the situation to her, then he adds, “I’ll be done shortly. Will you wait for me?”
Anita would like to scream, “YES!”, as if he had asked her to marry him but she restrains herself. “Yes, sure… I will wait outside. Hmm… I’m sorry…” She leaves the room deeply embarrassed for her performance, but also extremely happy. She has seen hope in Mizuki’s eyes.
*
Mizuki slowly closes the studio door and leans against it. “I was wondering when I’d see you again.”
Anita has her hands clenched and she’s biting her lip. She’s tense and she knows she isn’t at all lucid. She’s driven purely by emotion. She hated and loved him with the same intensity. N
ow she’s ashamed of herself. “I know she’s your cousin…”
“We are more than that, Anita-san. We’re like brother and sister.” He replies, coming closer.
“I’m so sorry, deeply sorry. I behaved like a little girl… but I… I drove to your house… I came because I missed you. I thought you were in London… and… and I saw you with her. I felt something dying inside me.” Anita is almost sobbing now. But she contains herself. She was able to tell him exactly how she felt.
“I tried to call you,” he whispers in her ear, while he mentally connects the dots that explain all of Anita’s strange behaviour recently.
But she’s not listening. She just feels his warmth and his almost forgotten scent. “Then Alessandra showed that photo to me … I thought I’d lost you forever.”
“Come, let’s go / snow-viewing / till we’re buried.” Mizuki’s voice is warm, almost a whisper. Anita’s eyes are disarming: they show the same fear he felt, the terror of losing each other. Then he kisses her, holding her tightly with a new intensity that surprises Anita. She abandons herself in his embrace.
*
Anita is tired. Too many kisses, too much sex, too many emotions. Too happy, she thinks. She feels content and serene, looking at Mizuki’s smile: his eyes shine with joy and his hands can’t stop stroking her body. She closes her eyes.
She walks bare foot on the grass of a park full of trees and flowers. She sees a small pavilion at the end of a path. She’s heading there. Nobody’s around, but she’s not afraid, she’s curious. She bends to pass through a small door to enter the pavilion. Inside the whole space is almost filled by a big table with a white cloth. On top of it there is a triumph of delicious food: cheese, herb chicken, colourful salads and fruit, chocolate and whipped cream, mountains of snow white whipped cream… “Who was he? Who was he?” A voice whispers.
Anita wakes up. She was dreaming. “Who was who?”
“I’m sorry… did I wake you up?”
“I think I fell asleep for a few minutes…”
“Anita, who was that guy who answered your phone?”
She closes her eyes. She’d like to disappear… Daniel and everything else seem so far away. Slowly she turns toward Mizuki and tenderly caresses his cheek. She feels everything depends on what she’s going to say. “No one!” She answers almost without thinking.
“What does no one mean?”
She takes his hand and puts it on her breast. “Do you know who Ulysses was?”
“Vaguely…”
“Ulysses was one of the brave Greek leaders. After many adventures he and his men came to an island. They didn’t know the island was inhabited by Cyclops – ferocious giants with only one eye. They entered a cave where they found Polyphemus who wanted to kill and eat all of them. So, Ulysses offered him some wine. Polyphemus, who’d never had wine before, got drunk and asked Ulysses his name. He answered, “My name is No One,” then he blinded him with a sharpened timber. Polyphemus howled, summoning the other Cyclops; but when they ran to his assistance and asked him who had done this to him, he answered, “No One! No One!”
Mizuki caresses her soft breasts, “And who told you this story?”
“Ancient people who already understood everything.”
“Understood what?”
“…that calling yourself No One can save your life.”
*
Their eyes search for each other. Then Mizuki opens her arms and firmly holds her wrists. As his body arches over her, Anita abandons herself completely. She indulges him, giving into his fury. Mizuki grabs her hair. She feels herself opening as he penetrates her. Their sex-scented bodies merge into one of only passion and desire. She doesn’t know where the pleasure is coming from any more.
Then time slows down, together with the rhythm of their breathing. Anita looks around as if she sees these walls, the furniture and decor and their clothes scattered around the floor for the first time.
“What time is it?” she whispers.
“It doesn’t matter.”
“My mother will wonder what’s happened to me… I can’t count how many times you asked me to meet her, to see where I live, and then you did it all without me – it happened without me even knowing…”
“It had to be destiny. Do you believe in fate?”
“No. I believe everything depends on us.” She turns towards him, leaning on her elbow. “Look at me carefully, Mr Murakami. Anita Proietti – right here, right now – has decided to move to London, because she doesn’t want to be apart from you, not even for a minute.”
Mizuki’s expression is undecipherable and he doesn’t say anything. Anita sits up on the bed, crosses her arms and shrinks into her shoulders, ready for the blow she feels coming. But what comes is a throaty sound: Mizuki is laughing. He pulls her closer and keeps laughing in a way she’s never heard before.
Anita’s confused. She doesn’t know what to think and she’s afraid to ask… she feels close to tears.
“Anita-san, do you know what I just did? I had a conference call and just turned down the London project.”
“What?! Are you crazy?”
“Yes, I’m crazy – crazy about you. I want to live with you. This is the only thing I’m sure about.”
She enthusiastically puts her arms around him. “No way. I will go to London!” She laughs.
“And I will stay in Rome!” He replies, half serious. His hands are stroking her back, moving up toward her neck. “Hmmm… let’s stop arguing, Anita. What do you say?”
The shiver running along Anita’s spine says yes.
30
It Takes Two to Tango
“Love, are you sure we should go?” Paolo is buttoning his light blue linen shirt.
“Pina has insisted…”
“Well that’s the problem, actually…” Paolo smiles at Rudy.
“I’m sure it’s going to be fun.”
“I hope it won’t be like on a Rimini beach with water balloons in our hands to throw at the lovers…”
“I know that Pina has been corrupted by episodes of Beautiful, but I think it’s a romantic idea to go too.”
“Look, if Giovanna gets upset and stops making her special white lasagna for me, I’ll hold you personally responsible!”
“Come on! It’ll be a great surprise for everybody…”
“Rudy, about Rimini, I think that this summer we should at least go and visit your parents. What do you think?”
Rudy comes over to him, misty-eyed, and begins to unbutton Paolo’s shirt.
“Love… we don’t have time for that! We’ll be late, if you really want to go…” but he lets him do it, pleasantly surprised that for once he took the initiative. But then, laughing, Rudy starts to button his shirt back up, this time properly, without skipping the middle button. He laughs too, even though he feels a twinge of disappointment.
*
In the meantime, little Francesca is ready to go, playing with her toys in the pushchair. Carlo is preparing a bag with all her things, when Pina comes out of the bathroom. “How do I look?” she asks. She’s very excited and wearing a new dress. “Can you tell I bought it at the market?” she twirls around.
“Pina! You’re still wearing slippers… hurry up!”
“You’re right. We can’t be late… and remember, we need to be quiet. It must be a surprise.”
“And if Francesca starts to cry?”
“Oh Carlo, if you had seen them! They were magnificent… What do you think? We could enroll in that dance class too next year…”
Carlo smiles at her excitement, and doesn’t say anything.
“But I know, it’s useless to talk to you, you old hermit! And besides, why would Francesca cry? You always worry too much about everything!”
Carlo jokingly pats her on the bottom, saying, “Let’s go, honey!”
*
Giovanna is running around the house, checking to see if all the windows are closed. Holding the phone to her ear, she talks to Matteo. �
��Why can’t we drop out at the last minute? I don’t think it would be a big deal…”
“This is not you, Giovanna! Also, it’s a way to say ‘goodbye’ to our dance classmates…”
“Ok, then… I’ll see you in half an hour at the usual bar. I’ll use the back gate; you go through the front…”
He sighs in exasperation. “All right. Don’t worry, nobody will see us.” He’s wondering how long this intrigue must go on. “And then she wonders why Anita didn’t introduce Mizuki to her!” He smiles to himself and ends the call.
Matteo hums, passing through the archway. He’s content with everything: the sunset, his shiny black shoes, the smell of his cigar, his love for Giovanna, and the fact he didn’t meet anyone in the courtyard.
Half an hour later, three elegantly dressed men and an excited young woman with a pushchair leave through the same gate.
*
“Where are you, Isotta?!”
“Leave Isotta alone! How do you think she could carry us both plus our luggage?”
Anita and Mizuki, pulling their carry-on bags, quickly walk towards the exit of Fiumicino airport.
“Do we really have to take a taxi?” Anita hasn’t yet got used to taxis.
“The plane landed late, and so we are late, Anita-san!”
“I still can’t believe I had to hear about this news from Paolo, who learnt about it from Pina… come on, I’m her daughter! Now I know they’re together. So what’s this secret all about?”
“You’re right… it’s crazy! I can’t understand how anyone could hide this kind of thing. We wouldn’t ever be so sneaky!” Mizuki replies, teasing her.
“That has nothing to do with it!” Anita feels stricken. “It was different for us and we had good reasons…”
“Talking about good reasons, do you think they’ll be happy with this audience? Isn’t this an intrusion?”
“Mizuki, I wouldn’t miss this for all the money in the world! Let’s drop off our bags at home and then go, we don’t want to be late.”
“Do you mean my bag and your huge trunk?” Mizuki laughs.
“But I didn’t take too much stuff! I have only one piece of luggage…”